Billo Barber- yawn, yawn

It’s time we did a stock taking of our love/admiration for SRK and Priyadarshan, separately and together. Billo Barber had slick trailers, the “Marjaani number” almost looked unbelievably ethereal and at mid-40, SRK still looked “physically fit” to move it.

Well, the regional version starring Rajnikanth salvaged some respectability in the last 25 mins, according to my friend. The Bollywood remake disappointed throughout.

Priyadarshan’s kinda stuff is beginning to wane, seriously. One should not expect anything out of his stable anymore, like we used to with RGV movies.

Let me go about one by one.

Lara can’t do a village belle/woman act. Period. Her last one Mumbai se Aaya Mera Dost was terribly forgettable, do you remember? She is not just rustic, enough is an ask and especially if you are playing Billo’s wife.

Priyadarshan’s sidekick comic relief is also getting repetitive. The same mundane fast forward stuff, slapstick-ish and all. 

Get Om Puri some author backed role. He should stop doing favours to friends and retire from acting if this is what the industry is. Has he forgotten what he can do, Dev for instance?

Asrani is fading away literally. The sad truth is such is the shelf-life of such characters- we all do crazy things for a living.

Rajpal Yadav’s over-gesticulating histrionics, if you may please, are not sustaining enough.

The item girls came and left. No we are not talking about Mallika or Malaika or Rakhi. We notice them. It is Deepika in some re-incarnate Love Story 2050- Part 2? Gawd! What is this fetish with Sci-fi and space stuff? Arrey, we don’t understand UP village stuff and space masala mix.

Priyanka in her post-Fashion avatar almost catlike is not as sizzling as she thought she was. Sorry babe! Take a break.

Kareena! God, her unnaturally long synthetic tresses were a huge turn off and her jhatkas were her only saving grace.

Last evening, SRK on Headlines Today went showering praises on his item ladies that each went out of their way to do their bit-the bhaichara and the dosti of Bollywood! Indeed, he was touched to have them on screen with him. For a flagging 46-yr old what better ego boost than to have babes half his age cavorting with him. That should be an elixir for his sagging haggard (metro) sexual image.

I also thought SRK’s cameo should be a cameo, not hogging the camera to pieces. He is there throughout the movie. Does he hate to play second fiddle to the lead actor? He makes sure he has the best cinematic moments and the great lines about everything nice and mushy. It’s a survival trait, we see that and we don’t mind you getting old.

What does our homegrown Bill have to say to all these? He runs away from the madding crowd as expected. Poor Billo, it was supposed to be his fillum and he is eclipsed by a Khan superstar until the end of the movie, so glad the movie finished. He is a method actor, will do all it takes to do what he has to do. His on-screen kids half-obey him until the last frame, his shop goes through the pangs of recession thanks to some zany marketing from competitors. He upholds his dignity of not succumbing to borrowing ways. The simple man prefers to keep things simple. He does not go ga-ga that he used to be/is friends with the now star, then pauper. His value systems are honest. He has some nice warm moments as a doting father and a caring husband. Irrfan Khan’s Billo act is warm.

I can’t believe K-Jo wept at all the dosti bhashaan in the movie. I was not moved,man! Now call me an untrue, unfeeling, insensitive friend.

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