July is cruelly the toughest month.

It's the 24th of July and there is no single blog entry for this month! i am alarmed at my imposed lethargy and the feeling of not-upto-it, shyt!

Ok, some quick updates... a lot of birthdays,including mine. Don't know how i feel about mine, but i am sure all July babies had and will have an awesome one! My friend's hubby was surprised with 28 gifts! Yes, he turned 28 years old. Thank god, its not his 6oth birthday and his wife informs she is definitely not going to do this again even if it is a so-called milestone birthday. She is right, every birthday is a milestone.Well, the bad idea of gifting 28 stuff was mine. I never had and failingly don't have a wishlist. My family, friends and the loving and loved one more than make it up.But, I guess it was a subconscious desire.I am also turning 28 and maybe, I wanted 28 gifts.I lived my wish by suggesting my friend to surprise her man with 28 gifts. I like the pure thrill of giving and receiving,sometimes albeit selfishly.

To all my July babies, a Happy Birthday! The gifts are coming.Sorry for the delay.

I moved house in less than 3 months and yes,I miss Balaji Residency, Flat no. 304. The cacophony and the laughter. I miss Ragini, my lil' girl and our terrace talks and late night music soirees and those thoughtful and sometimes, thoughtless ramblings.I am very happy for you, Ragini. All luck and love with you, always.

New house,new roomie and a new beginning, some hiccups...living out of duffel bags, not being myself- yes, an abnormal me.A thorough lecturer by day,parsimonous by meal times and a wanderer for 3 weeks.Found sleep but briefly, i looked for my pillow.I am in my new house,still unpacking in my refuge.I say hello to the shelves, they welcomed my books. The room looks quaint and now, throbs with life.

I have a nice roomie and a nice neighbour. 6-month old Gauri is our ( Gauri's parents, roomie's and mine) heart-throb. All my stuff are in this house, except for some of my wandering books,part of my mobile lending library and probably,a phone charger somewhere.

Yes, the house-warming will happen, give me some time. The kitchen needs to be set up. Yes, Ma'am S,i will get sweets for everyone at work, courtesy my first salary at college.Yes, Ma and Pa,I have booked tickets for my Puja homecoming.

All well but the Guy up there needs to test my patience.

A day after i book my tickets, Ma calls me saying she has a tumor in her belly.I was and am reeling from that shattered feeling even now. No one in the family has ever had this. It sounds alien to me.I have seen Ma always so strong and binding. The fear of losing her weighed over me the entire night last Tuesday.I wailed, ranted and wept.Tears gave up on me. Why Ma? Ma said,it's only time that will tell. Pa asked me not to cry.I squirmed for comfort...So many miles away,I cling to that phone call again and again.

17 years ago, we lost Ma's mom ( around Ma's age then) to a similar fate in a state-of-the-art hospital.This palpable fear got us worked up and we feared history haunting us again.

Hello,You up there.You cannot do this to us again.You love us or love us too much, you can't and won't do this again.Ma has a lot to see and enjoy. She has had a tough life, her kids are just flowering today.All those nights she stayed up during our exams,and those sleepless moments when we were fighting illness or I did not call.You can't take away Pa's strength and love. Both of them fought heaven and earth to be together, they have stood by each other in the face of humiliation, strife and a palpable end to their love.

To cut it short, answer our prayers, in all sincerity.You owe that to her.

4 comments:

Vidhya said...

Hey you:

Remember me. ..the ex-gorgeous soul from Madhapur hostel..give u a hint...an evening@barista..the only time we went out. You had ur arms full...with books ofcourse. You still owe me those babes.

u loaded me with muffins..i loved them. ok...im done here...do u even remember? Call me@ well, if u had any luck remembering. BTW its sheer humiliation if u don't.

Toodalu darling. V from S.;-)

Vidhya said...

crap...i am finally done having my fun of making u recollect and hit end only to discover that my name shows up. but then i enjoyed the moment. when i was having it.

Anonymous said...

Hey dear July baby and fellow leo! its flat 301, not 304, :P
and I am ectstatic at finding my name on yr blog! keep up the mentions :)

and don't worry, your mom will get better.

have a great birthday tomorrow, sayonara!!

Aushima said...

Hey, take care of your mom, I totally relate to this feeling....went through the same for my Paa when I was thousands mile away, in another world... Parents are precious, I know nobody needs to tell this to anybody. Prayers are with you!