Going dutch

A friend of mine got a film roll and I remember all of us had to shell out 20 rupees each for the positives and the negatives. Our restaurant bills, irrespective of who ate the lion’s share or had a coffee (kidding! we never asked more than the price of the coffee), they were always divided by that many people around. Going dutch always kept the messes of money away and like they say, never mix friendship and money. The “is equal to” is always nasty.

Don’t have that kind of experience but definitely some eye openers to have seen very few joint accounts working in favour of working couples or just one partner working. What is recurrently symptomatic is each refuses to be accountable unless it is a compulsive disorder. You do have some who splurge for the other, most times for the self and sometimes for some people.

My best friend and I keep it simple, we take turns. We don’t feel we are doing each other a favour but definitely, we are doing a favour to ourselves. We have gone dutch only when we are on pathetic shoe-string budgets.

I have another dear friend who does not believe in me paying for anything (even my share!) when we are out on coffee or a snack for the plain reason that it is not chivalrous. It is incidental that he is well-off.

There is another lady who won’t allow me to pay for age’s sake. She is older than I. The only time I could pay for something for her is when she forgot to carry her wallet. Mad that she is, she insisted to return the entire amount.

These habits however quirkily generous and endearing can be taken advantage of if you do not know the value of the person you are doing it for and also, knowing that money does not count actually.

I love these people. Borrowing/lending money or having any monetary deals with such people is never going to be a pain. You have an open heart and trust. When you are all giving, I want to give more and all to that person.

I also have some people who ‘conveniently’ forget that I paid his/her share for some dutch event and well, the association just lingers until the pay-up happens. It is not annoying but a revelation that hey, you better go dutch with this person all the time and please, keep him or her out if the same buck is passed around.

Settling dutch-ments, I hate them.

Not saying, going dutch is the safest option always. It is the best option but it does, it surely can leave a bitter taste in your mouth if it is not your venture.

It is not polite to drag someone for a meal and insist on the person to pay for his/her portion of the meal for dutch’s sake. At least, that is the way I feel. Some just don’t get it even when you offer to pay the entire bill and say it is my treat and the last meal with you. They maybe continentally sophisticated, cosmopolite, very aware and fashionably very avant-garde but all I say is- “get lost!”

10 comments:

Soma said...

It gets a li'l embarrassing to go dutch now that we have started earning decent yet i still prefer and believe that its only fair to go dutch with most ppl:D

Luqman said...

Now, I am wondering if I vow you anything? :)

Unknown said...

@soma- i know what you mean, since we all earn pretty decently..it is convenient, we pay and forget :)

@luqman- no friend, you don't owe anything to me,why are you so alarmed?

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, a lot of people hate dutch-ments especially ones who don't want to pay really:).

Think,think and some more... when was the last time you ever paid up for anything? ufff- can't think of a time ever. Generosity gets abused a lot and so people need to learn- that is, the ones who are being generous and taken advantage of.

My advise- go dutch and stop bitching. After all, you are paying for what you ate. And please, stick to the loos-type topics.

Anonymous said...

LOL, LOL :). As your good-frens and well wishers (2 of us reading this right now)we want to say that you are a gr8 fren and fun but you are not the most generous person and not the most honest one too. Part agree wth the comments above. Plz don't take otherwise we wanted to tell you what we thot to you. Will help all of us to get together more oftn, dutch is good :).

Unknown said...

Thank you both the anonymous-es, if i may...
Your 'valuable' comments, the closest equivalent is spam from strangers,leaving your name is definitely so unsafe,LOL. If your conscience/social fabric got scratched anywhere,for the greater good of humanity and for all the sound and fury, PLEASE GO DUTCH happily and willingly with willing people. When i wrote "Going Dutch" i also knew "friends/acquaintances" will feel i am rude and whatever in the post.
I can see a can of worms open up.

Disclaimer: if at any point, anyone took this post personally...to each his own.
I know it is a touchy/pricky issue.

Unknown said...

Well most of us solved this issue (or I guess avoided it) by using the buxfer.com website where ppl immediately go and put shared expense, and then we follow whoever owes (called red:)) will pay and ppl always do.

I was also amazed to recently observe a different kind of dutching the check, the unequal one here at one of my outing with my friends in US, I really liked the system makes no one uncomfortable at all(remember the episode in Friends where Joey, Rachael and Phebe complaint about being dragged to costly restaurants all the time :)). You pay for what you ordered. Well the difference being that ppl here aren't used to share food as explicitly as we do in our group there in Hyderabad :)

And people do have different ways of spending there money on, for me I am not into eating fancy food much and rather put those big bucks on travelling :D, so yeah being dragged to a costly food place bugs me most of the time (unless its a party) :D

Thangjam Hindustani said...

set expectations clearly...saves a lot of pain later :)

Anu - heaven and hell said...

well.. i don't remember dutching after i left college... rarely did i come across a dutch situation. I find it unsophisticated to dutch.. i pay or you pay.....

Shainon said...

well well well.........fellas it always depends as in wen there is a big big amount obviously we need to go dutch and sheerly depends on wat kind of relationship u hav wid the people u r wid.....hope u got da point....ya of course wen its abt small things dutch is not needed till its mutual abt other egular spends